Sometimes...

I have been pretty ill all this week. My boss was diagnosed with adult whooping cough, and sadly, after spending most of last week in meetings with him, it seems I have caught it too...

Sigh.

I'm not usually too bothered about being ill, but the constant coughing, mixed in with my asthma, has meant I have been up most nights alternately choking and coughing, and then waking up in the morning with bruised ribs...

Not good.

I will have been to the doctors three times this week - first for a consult, then a blood test, and now tomorrow, will go to the asthma review clinic - here's hoping things will get a little better soon...

Amidst being sickly and working a lot, the one really wonderful highlight to my entire week was a message and then really lovely video dedication I received from one of my favourite Youtube music video artists Vc620. After reading my blog last Friday, where I really just poured my heart out over how sad I have been feeling of late, V put together one of the loveliest and most magical Nikki & Helen music videos that I have had the pleasure of viewing in a very long time, all with my favourite tender kiss between them towards the end of the video, and a sweet dedication in the final frames to cheer me up... Wow. I was both moved and awed, as it was almost like V had looked into my heart and mind, and seen that I really needed to know that out there, somewhere, was a couple like Nikki & Helen, who balanced each other just in the way that I needed to be balanced at that point...

Nikki in some ways mirrors me, in being someone who fiercely stands up for what she believes in, is good at reading people, but also holds a barrier around her heart to protect the sensitivity hidden inside... once she has opened Helen's eyes to her love, she finds that she needs Helen, someone with the same gentle strength and determination as Helen when she chips away at Nikki's self-imposed barriers to the fierce and warm and true love underneath...to make her believe that she is worth fighting for, that she has a hope of being free, that they have a hope of being together...

I really needed to know that... to know that the dark place I have been in for a while now, will not always be there... that someone cares... Thank-you V, for your wonderful gift: