It's lonely in this place with you.
I try to open up, but then get cut down by sarcasm. One moment you're very sweet, and the next, so distant - I'm not sure whether to dwell on the good times, or just drift through this whole thing so I don't get as hurt as I know I will.
I'm not sure how to feel, as you keep telling me how much you don't want. And when feelings of jealousy or sadness encroach, I don't even know if I have the right to be feeling them, as I'm not your proper girlfriend... just something that 'happened'...
It's draining being on the defensive all the time, and I have wanted to end this many times, but have a feeling it's not quite the right time yet...
I think I'm finding a balance now, where I can understand, and be patient, as you've made very clear you're not in this for the long-run.
Still hurts though.
I guess, as you so rightly said, it's a learning process for both of us, and for myself, I think, karma for what has been.
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