I had a strange, but comforting dream last night...
I was platonically lying in bed and talking with 3 people. The person on my right was making questioning remarks about gay people, and I said "Oh, I dunno, I don't see being a Lesbian as being so bad...maybe you shouldn't judge...?".
When that person had left, the other person gave me a soft, loose hug, and looked at me questioningly, and maintaining constant, searching eye contact, she said "...You know what you said before..? About it not being so bad for someone to be a Lesbian...? Can I ask? Are you a Lesbian...?".
Now I have never been asked that directly before, either in real life, or in a dream, but I held her gaze, and said, feeling strangely at peace with myself, "Yes, I am a Lesbian".
The dream paused for a moment, much like those instances in a movie, where everything starts to move in slow motion, and time just floats along at a slower pace for a few heartbeats. Still holding my gaze, the other woman smiled, and said, "I'm glad. I have waited a long time to hear you say that".
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Now, when I woke up, I strangely remembered that dream (I don't usually), and realised, that at last, at very long last, after years of agonising, it looks like my sub conscious has accepted that I am a true, full blown, no turning back, and completely happy with myself, Lesbian.
The last moments of my dream, where the other woman smiles after I affirm that I am a true Lesbian and says, "I'm glad. I have waited a long time to hear you say that". Is much like my true self affirming and positively accepting who I am.
Wow. Weird, but I am so pleased. Happy. Reassured.
This would be great fodder for therapy, if I ever was in therapy.
It's nice to know that my inner self accepts me at last.
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