Clubbing

Over the past couple of months, my experiences of going out on the Lesbian scene, and specifically to clubs in London, have brought home even more emphatically that clubbing definitely isn't for me.

Sitting here in my PJs at 4.42pm in the afternoon, bleary eyed and hung over, with only a couple of good memories of my night out last night, where at one point, I sat blissfully by myself away from the dance floor and at a table just off the bar, being one of them.

I met up with my Canadian friend, who confuses me and makes me smile, because she is so gorgeous, funny intelligent, easy to talk to and so my type, and yet I'm just not attracted to her - I kind of prod myself in wonder every so often, but end up feeling pleased that I have such a cool friend, rather than agonise over the non-attraction.

We both deliberately dressed down last night - it wasn't pre-arranged, but we both surprised each other by turning up with no make-up and looking marginally casual and scruffy. We grinned and proceeded to the Lesbian bar, hidden in the City, under an old bridge, and in the heart of the Money district.

I wanted to cheer with delight, as we asked the bouncer if we were at the right place, and he looked us both over and said with a straight guy's smug and derisive grin and shake of his head "Oh yes, you're at the right place." It was like, we both looked so dykey, a Lesbian bar was the only place we could possibly be going to! I know I should have been offended, but I was so pleased! It was like I had earned my first Dykey badge of honour!

The bit of lipstick I wear, with my hair pulled back to work everyday means that on more than one occasion, I am leered at by straight guys, but not often enough by lesbians. At times, I feel I don't even exist as a 'proper' lesbian in the gay world, even when I have been out to clubs with friends before...

But this time, I must have had the full on 'lesbian-vibe' thing going on. And again, when walking by myself, back to catch the night bus home outside of the station. A very drunk middle class white guy came rolling up to me, asking if I had a friend (obviously I wasn't pretty enough for his lascivious tastes, but I certainly didn't mind), and then he looked at me a bit more closely, and said "Or should I be asking...do you have a girlfriend I can chat to?" and laughed. Now again, I should've been offended, but gave him a good natured grin instead, because lo and behold, even without my Canadian friend, I was looking dykey, and to a straight white guy! I was so proud!

I know, I know... this all sounds very lame, but gawd, it felt liberating. :D

Anyway, back to the clubbing thing. I dunno, even when I was back in high school, I would get really bored when I went out clubbing. Don't get me wrong, I can dance with the best of them, but somehow, dancing for hours and drinking just doesn't really do it for me. I get bored incredibly quickly, and would rather be out to dinner with a bunch of friends, drinking a few bottles of wine, and having a good natured chat and laugh discussing all the lesbian dramas going on in everyone's lives.

My Canadian friend is great company though, and I did enjoy fielding the two interested girls she had chasing her. She is gorgeous, and a lot braver than me. I felt like a good natured sister, and actually quite proud of her in a non-patronising way. I'd love to keep her on as a friend, even though she will be going home soon - we'll have to meet up in Vancouver or New Foundland and go out to a few places there for old time's sake.

Am now back home, and getting ready to have a lovely warm bath and watch Shipwrecked, and then Lost & Delirious while I do my hair. I've always wanted to see Piper Perabo in a stronger role than she was in, in Imagine Me & You, and since becoming obssessed with the gorgeous story (and of course Lena Headey) in Imagine Me & You, I'm interested to see Piper in a less girly role. I've been assured by friends that she is almost unrecognisable in a very good way - so I'm looking forward to it.

Then it's back to putting up some of my old techie stuff on eBay, to make up for the £100 I spent on Saturday on books, DVDs, and clubbing. I so need the extra cash, especially in the coming months, with the price of rent for this new place being so high, and me definitely wanting to travel to the US this summer. I'd better look up the dates for Easter too, so I can book some quality time off, and get a few of my business ideas in action...

Busy, busy.

;-)