Odd feelings...

It's strange, at this time of the month (PMT mode), I either feel really irritable, or really randy - not fun when it happens at inopportune moments I can tell you...

Having just come out of two days of utter clumsiness, from bouncing into lamp posts as I veer sharply round a corner, to dropping coffee on my shoes, and generally being a complete klutz, I am now in full-on strong vibe and aura mode...

It's strange, throughout most of my gay existence, I have veered between femme and soft butch. Where, I have enjoyed feminine things, such as lipstick, pretty blouses etc., but have always had a tomboyish air about me, and on reflex, always have opened doors for ladies, stepped aside to let them pass, done all the DIY in the house, offered to carry shopping and buggies and all manner of things for other women... not quite knowing why, but just knowing that it 'felt right'...

I dunno, I never actually put a label on it, but now I look back on it, I think that was just the inherent butchness in me pushing its way to the surface...

Now, for the first time in a very, very long while (perhaps in part to me consciously meeting up with more gay people, and getting more involved with gay-related things), at this time of the month, with my hormones going absolutely crazy, the most over-powering and strongest feeling I feel is a strong,female, and very butch aura about me. Can't explain it, but I really just want to find a strong sexy, sensitive woman to lavish alot of attention on, treat like a lady, enjoy her curves, and make hot passionate love to (so I guess the horny factor is still there [grin])...

Can't shake this feeling, which is I guess a good thing, as it seems to me that I am growing into myself more every day... It's sad that I don't have a girlfriend at the moment though, to lavish all of that attention on...

Oh well, in time I guess...

My very first Inappropriate Youtube video

Alas, my first venture into making Youtube videos was taken down after 1 day, 744 views, and 1 honour for one of the most viewed videos of the day, as being inappropriate material.

I'm not too surprised, as it was the last and very hot lesbian love scene between Shane and Paige in the L Word's season 4... and was pretty risque.... (I know, I've been a bad Lezzer ::insert slapped wrists and guilty wicked grin here::)

I was quite enamoured as to just how hot that last scene between them was, and also quite annoyed at all the 1950s clips that broke it up. I wanted to watch a full love scene damn it, and not have my libido screech to a halt every time a family breakfast scene popped into view mid passionate kiss between Shane and Paige... So... I used my Pinnacle Studio software to produce a somewhat unpolished version of this love scene, with the amazing Me'Shell Ndegéocello's 'Beautiful' as the soundtrack...

I must say, it certainly made me warm editing all those scenes....probably why Youtube pulled it really... but... :-)

Anyway, here is the link (15MB WMV file), for those that should come across this blog... I might be asked to take it down, so...

http://www.jay-lily.com/san/lword-shane-paige.wmv

Enjoy.